Caroline and Jamie’s Ventura mini roadtrip. Sorry, it took so long for me to post these. What a fun day that was! We shall go again, this time, I’m driving, and I won’t let you buy anything, promise.
I took my dad to the airport today. He should be in Japan by now. I hate this part always, cause I never really know when’s the next time I’m gonna see him again, and it’s kinda nice to have someone to take hiking and do all that stuff with.
I spent the rest of the day driving on the PCH, again. I ate dinner by myself at that little fish & chips place next to the highway, by the beach. I was sitting on a really nice spot, right next to the windowless window, and had a nice few of the ocean, which I haven’t got to sit the last 2 times I went.
As I was eating my fried clams, this old couple, about 60’s or so came up to my table and asked me if I was by myself and if it’s ok for them to share the table, I said sure. And then their grandchildren came. The couple were from Chicago, visiting their grandkids and their mom. I had a nice little conversation, mostly with the grandpa. He told me they were just from Santa Barbara the day before and went to a great cajun restaurant, I think it’s called Palace Grill. He took out his little red notebook, apparently he rates the restaurants he’s been too, and he gave that one a 4 star. I will try it next time I go there, which I’m planning to do soon. He seems to be a foodie. And we discovered that we both like the Banana Leaf at the Farmer’s Market.
I like having my freedom back. This time around, I will not take it for granted.
It’s the second day of January and officially the end of winter in California, if there was ever one.
Today is my dad’s last day here, so I took him hiking one last time. He’s been wanting to go to a creek or a lake. So we went to Malibu Creek State Park, aparently it’s been used for the site of movies, Pleasantville, MASH, and Mr.Blandings Builds His Dream House, I can’t remember the movie, but it’s got Carry Grant in it.
There’s a little creek that runs along the trail. I can’t believe I’ve never been here before. It’s got huge trees along the trails, so it’s nice and shady.
It was really hot, but we made it to a tiny little pond. I poked my feet in the water, and the water was so cold.
My dad took this photo on the way back. There were so many sailboats out on the water. I guess everyone’s excited about the sun. I think Californians are the only people who are still excite about the sun, no matter how much sun we get all year long, we’re so spoiled, it’s awesome.
The rest of the day we stayed at home, trying to teach my dad how to us the computer, exported his yahoo contacts so he can start using his gmail account from now on, I tried to explain to him the concept of copy/paste, which for some reason he finds really confusing, which I found really funny. I finally made him a facebook account, cause he’s been asking me to, he said he wants to find his old high school friends, class of 1967.
And tomorrow my dad’s leaving, we have to leave for the airport at 8am. After that it’s just gonna be me, and my mom and sister. I don’t know how I’m gonna cope with that.
That’s him, he’s Danny DeVito’s shorter little brother.
I named him even before I bought him from the dealer.
Today I took him for our first official outing, my dad came along. We went to Point Dume. we watched the sunset, so aweosome. Driving down PCH is truly the best part of California.
Awesome start to a new year.
Happy New Year!
It’s been a long couple of weeks and a very stressful couple of days. Buying a car is not the fun and games it’s cracked up to be, actually I’ve been on the verge of throwing up the whole time. I hated going to dealership, meeting those sales people, trying to get you to buy stuff without thinking about it. And haggling with 4 or 5 dealerships, is just fucking insane. But it’s finally done. I officially have a car, my own car. The people at the dealership kept saying congratulations and this and that, and all I could do is nod. I think I’m still recovering from the shock and the stress, this is officially the biggest purchase I’ve ever made, ever. But I’m sure I’ll be excited tomorrow. For now, good night, and happy new year to everyone whom I haven’t seen since last year! I miss you all!
On a side note, my family is soo weird.
They wanted to play with the party hat Jamie made for my birthday, and pretend like we’re having a party… Oh well, they can be worse.
This is the car I’m gonna buy… jk, I wish.
But we traded our Mazda rental for a Yaris. Tomorrow we’re headed for the mountains to test it out. I really I hope the little red riding hood will make it, I’m in love with a car I don’t even have yet. I’m already thinking of what I’ll name him… gosshhhh.
The Big Fake Plastic City
I’ve been back, I just haven’t got the energy, time, or privacy to post anything in a while. Vegas was for the most part, a bore. The only thing to do is shop or gamble, I don’t like doing either, because both require spending money. But there were a few snippets of complete awesomeness. I forced my family to go with me to Red Rock Canyon, it’s a little national park half an hour away from the strip, and it was so gorgeous. I’ve always wanted to go to the dessert, and it was just after a super cloudy and sprinkly day, but as we got to the overlook point, the clouds just started to part and you could see the sun rays through the clouds.
I met up with shane yesterday, or i think it was yesterday, i have a hard time keeping track of time, everything just seems to blur into one. But it was pretty cool, we talked, well he talked, i learned, a lot about the education system of our country, and really how messed up it is and how he wants to spearhead an education revolution. I miss having conversations like that, it’s the kind of shit we used to talked about during senior year, so that was pretty cool. We got lunch with his cousin and aunt (not that awkward, considering how awkward I could be, his cousin was a bit weird I thought), then went to LACMA to see some of the exhibits, and then I wanted to show him Venice Beach, cause I thought it was silly that he’s been to LA twice, and never been there. But when we got there it was already dark, and I think coupled with the fact that it was winter, and the day after christmas (many things are closed down), it wasn’t the zoo-like freak show I’m used to in the summer times. Venice at night and in the winter, is drab, bleak, and kinda scary. We ended up going to this tiny bookstore, Small World Book, and that was pretty cool, I might have found a new cool spot I need to frequent. And after, I took him back to Westlake, and get this, there really is an actual lake there! I’m definitely going back there, I don’t care if it’s private property, it’s an actual lake, in LA! I drove all the way back home, all by myself, no accident or anything. I’m quite proud.
On a somewhat related note, I’m in the process of getting a new car. I’m really excited about it. I’m crossing my fingers that it’ll happen. I think this is the right first step to me living California before I leave. Over the past few weeks, I’ve realized what I was missing. At one point shane asked me what would I change about my college years, and I really couldn’t think of anything, cause from what I remember now, i liked it. But I think I was forgetting the first few years of it, and my high school years for that matter. I guess if I could go back, I would tell myself to relax and be a little less scared of stuff. I cared so much about things that really aren’t that important, and I was missing everything. I missed high school, and part of college. I think I realized this senior year, and I started caring about something that matters to me, I think that’s why it was the best time I had in my schooling years.
But since I can’t go back, I guess the next best thing is to make it right, now.
ps: All of my friends whom I didn’t see during the holidays… I wished I had, and I miss you guys. I have this scene in my head that one day I’d get to spend a day with all of you together in one place.
This is what December is like in California. This makes me feel that staying for another year in California is a good decision.
I took my dad hiking at Point Mugu, where Mims and Romina and I went to a few months ago. It was so awesome. It feels so good to be out, and hanging out with my dad. My mom and my brother didn’t want to come along, so it was just the 2 of us, which was nice, absolutely peacful and no bickering. My ears need some rest.
As I’m typing, all 4 of us are cramped to my tiny apartment, it not as bad as I thought it would be, but I think it’s because I’m not letting them (my mom and my brother’s endless bickering) get to me. I’m in this place where I feel like I’m more mature than that. It always takes all the energy I can muster to not let my mom get to me, but this past 2 days, I feel like it’s getting a bit easier. I don’t know, maybe because this is my house, and I feel like I’m in charge so that I feel more in control.
I only lost my temper for a second when I realized that she had tricked me to having dinner with my ex and his family. I really didn’t want to do it, cause I know it was a bad idea, but she kept egging me on, not letting it down, I couldn’t take it, I said yes to make her give me some peace. Dinner itself wasn’t so bad, there was a semi akward and uncomfortable hug, but that wasn’t so bad. He asked me about work and my mom told all of them about my accident (without my permission, naturally), and of course they all made a huge deal about it.
At the end of the night when I was suppose to drive my parents back home, they all made a huge fuss about how unsafe it was for me to drive. Not to be ungrateful, I know they’re concern about my well being, but there is such a thing about being over protective. I made one mistake, I’m ready to move on, I don’t judge myself based on a mistake I made 9 months ago. And right as I was going into the car they sort of invited themselves to our vacation plans. He sheepishly asked which hotel we were staying at in Vegas, and then he was like, well do you mind if we meet you guys in Vegas? Ummmm… I was like, sureeee. What else am I suppose to say? NO, you cannot go to Vegas, because I will be there?
So, I was angry at my mom for making us all go to dinner together. She said it’ll just be a quick dinner tonight, but I think she knew that they wanted to come along to Vegas. The whole thing was a set up. And really that’s what made me angry. I couldn’t care less what we do or who we meet during our vacation, but she’s my mother, she’s suppose to be on my side, not go behind my back and trick me to do something she knows I don’t want to do. I’m not 5 anymore, you don’t have to lie to me to get me to do what you think is right for me to do. I have learned to talk now, we should talk. You should tell me you reasonings, not just do this cause I say so. It’s just the kind of insensitive thing she’ll do. I have no idea what she’s trying to do, maybe in her head she thinks that somehow if I hang out with him, we’ll get back together? I don’t understand why she thinks that’s something that she has the right to control.
Ever since I was little, I was always afraid that when I grow up, I’ll turn out like her, and sometimes, I’ll do things and I’d realize that I do have some of her in me. The uncompassionate, greedy, selfish, and most of all the unhappy part of me, the parts that I’ve been trying to battle against in the past year.
But on the way back from our hike, I had a talk with my dad (he’s talking, and me, listening). I used to not like my dad’s “talks”, but somehow now I do. Some of the stories he told me make me realize that, if I have the bad parts of my mother, that must mean that I have the good parts of him too. And that gave me hope. I have the potential to be either of them, but I have the power to choose which person I’m going to turn out to be.
my friends are wonderful, talented people.
how come? well one of them made this
this first one is micah’s submission to the Nikon Festival, i think you can win something if you get enough votes from the people, so the 6 people who read this blog (minus micah, cause i dont think he can vote for himself) go and rate the video. cause it’s awesome. there is one part, the shot of the wheat field on the back yard, took my breath away, it’s magic, it is magical. and the score is awesome too, i can definitely see the jesse james influence, and there is a part in the beginning when the violin just starts playing, that part reminds me of the johnny walker video.
And the other one made this.
This one is made by Jamie, for Donna. You’re so wonderfully thoughtful. Just a few friends having a good time. I love to see how happy everyone here is. This video really made my day, I’m glad I found it, considering how long I have been off Tumblr. It’s really well made too. I like how the clips are edited and the music works really well, I think, I love that song!
So that’s that. Two videos, one about the present story of a sometimes lonely guy, the other a reminiscence of old times with some wonderful friends. And they are both wonderful in their own ways, I’m glad we’re friends.
wow it’s been a long day. but good. i feel like everyday my friends manage to surprise me. thank you so much. everyone.
romina, thanks for the phone call and video chat yesterday, it was really unexpected, and really fun.
jamie, for all the calls, and advice, and the emails and for card sharing with me.
micah, for the really long talk, even when i didnt want to, but you kept stuck with me.
hey, and everyone else who kept stuck with me all this time. it’s good to be able to count on some people that i expect to count on, and those who are not expected.
tired. i’m tired. every day that i go to work turns into a bad day. we’re all tired.
people say they feel tired, but i don’t really feel it in my body, physically i’m pretty normal, but i can feel it in everything else. like it’s an actual thing. it’s heavy and really slow.
anger, frustration, pressure, that’s what it’s all been, for both of us. if it’s not one or the other, then it’s both. this is not the way it’s suppose to be. this isn’t what i want to remember for our company’s first year anniversary. it’ll make me sad if we stop our company, but i don’t know if we can take much more of this. i feel like i had messed up in a big way.
my friends,
Thank you for talking me through today. And always there right when I really need you to be.
For those who aren’t… well, we’re not really friends anyway. Don’t take this the wrong way, I still like you, but can we please stop pretending to be friends when we’re really not, I think it’ll just be easier that way.
that just inspired me to picked a brush that i haven’t used in 2 years
fantastic_mr_fox_t_sample (via joebardi23)
i keep missing the sunlight, can’t take pictures… grrr.
i’m chin deep in llc’s, franchise taxes, income, corporate, unemployment, and pay roll taxes. but i feel good knowing, rather than be clueless and in the dark. if only modularity was applied to the government and how state laws works, things might be simpler, i can just figure things our for myself, and make actual decisions, rather than spending most of my time digging for and trying to crack black boxes.
oh that christmas tree’s been up since the 2nd week of november!
Cussing Awesome!
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